The inevitable "anti-valentines day" blog.

Right, it’s terribly (do you love how English that sounds!?) cliché and even more predictable as every blogger around the world will be writing something related to Valentines day either today or tomorrow; but I couldn’t give two shakes of a monkeys doo-dah.

I have never been that big on this ‘holiday’ and have only ever celebrated it once, which wasn’t really by choice. I have very passionate feelings towards February 14th:

I HATE IT!

It’s just an excuse for those tossers at corporate companies like Clinton Cards to hock their stupid, crappy, pointless products. Honestly, is a tacky cutsie wickle teddy bear with “I wub woo” in a pretty, glittery heart on its chest and a really expensive meal really affirmation of your true, deep undying feelings for one another and the only opportunity to get the best night of sex you’re bound to get all night? The hell it is! If that’s what it takes, then there’s a problem with your relationship. It’s a whole heap of commercial, corporate bullpoo.

I know what you’re saying: “Oh, Pieman, it’s just because you’re single”. No it’s not! This farce has been going on since the land that time forgot and every year it becomes more and more pathetic. It’s tragic.

Every single restaurant, club, pub, supermarket, card shop and brothel all jump on the Valentines Day bandwagon offering discounts, roses, candles, wine and free chocolates just so you’ll give them money. It’s things like this that make me sympathetic to the ‘hippy cause’ because they really do have the right idea. I don’t like the way that the bigwigs have totally destroyed two Christian holidays (the other being Easter, which is also round the corner) by sticking price tags on them.

My ideal Valentines Day would be sitting in the pub with my partner with a cold pint of Guinness, a BBQ Chicken and Bacon Melt watching the football and hanging out with my mates. That’s enough love for me.

I urge all you hapless romantics just for once to put everything on hold and to sit this one out just to see how much more fun it will be.

Do the right thing; tell cupid to go swivel.